well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
