Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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