You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
