oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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