My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
