I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My penis needs a shock collar
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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