Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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