i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
