i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
