the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
