my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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