You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
