Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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