her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
