We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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