i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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