my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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