we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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