You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's get the cat blown out
How does it feel to date your dad?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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