You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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