I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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