Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
