Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
