I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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