I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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