I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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