I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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