where does the pee come out of this thing
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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