Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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