biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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