god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
