I look better un-naked...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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