If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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