I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
