I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
