Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
