'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
