I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So here I am, sexting at work.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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