I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
