So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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