I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
