I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize