and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
