i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
