U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
