my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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