Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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