Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
