fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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