erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
