dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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