That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
