Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
