dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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