I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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