shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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