You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize