Umm I'm too high to move.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
