the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need a beard to bite.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
