you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
