just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
